Richard Update...

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 Hey to my Readers, It has been a very long and rough year to tell you the truth. You can probably really tell by my lack of writings if you look at the dates. This last month was really tough. I had isolated with severe depression. I thought I would have to go back inpatient. The mental anguish was unbearable at times.

I am about sure if you have not experienced this then you have no clue what I am talking about.  When I get in this frame of mind, it is just like being in a pit with a dark cloud overhead. 

All you can see from that vantage point is the dark Despair without a ounce of hope in sight with just glimmers of GOD. just like a gloomy overcast day when you rarely see the sun.  You just do not want to be around anyone at all.  Sleeping becomes your only comfort from the misery that you are in.  

It is a drudgery during these times to clean your house or self care and even in your hobbies like writing which I know I love is affected. All you can see what these demons show you and that is NOT GOOD AT ALL!  You just want to go away like you  under a rock and it be like you never existed. Yes, you want to die and be erased from this life.

I am alive and here to tell you that the devil is the only one that should want your days to end. The enemy of your soul doesn't want you to see or hear the voice or see the face of Jesus. He wants you to rot in hell.

I have questioned my purpose on this earth...because of so many mistakes in my past.

Its been really tough but in the last several days I have mustered up some cleaning duties around my house that really needed cleaning. Just doing those necessary things made a huge difference in my day and helped me to get my eyes off of my depression and despair. Now I can see more clearly. Yesterday I did a very much clothes washing (4 Loads) I still got way more to do but when you get your eyes off your feelings whoa what a completely different perspective you have!!

I am on a roll now. When you see clearer you hear clearer as well!! I believe that Jesus told me to do some cleaning and go to church on Sunday!!

I think that  if i keep on going that GOD is going to steer me out of this perpetual road block of depression I  have been in for the last year!!  

Maybe you have had a bad year as I have?   Get your eyes off your problems, onto Jesus and the things of His Kingdom and stop feeling sorry for your self.  Do not look at the past, but lean and trust GOD in this moment. He will restore and remake His light in you stronger than ever!!!


Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 19, 2022 at 12:25 PM

    Hi Richard: We've been friends on groups for many years. I've not only been trained in clinical psychology/counseling, but Biblical counseling, and have experienced depression.
    It's not spiritual, it is a whole body situation: mind, emotions, body. It can be mild or long-term. It can be genetic/generational.
    But it is quite inaccurate to give 'glory' to satan by blaming him, or demons, for it. It is not a spiritual condition.
    The world has suffered enormously over the past 2+ years from the covid pandemic; millions of lives have been lost, millions more permanently altered by it. Now, we have as well a murderous criminal KGB dictator who thinks he owns his world killing innocent people, like Nazis did, for his own 'legacy' of power and control. The heaviness of this vile situation weighs on all of us.
    Thus, we are all weighed down with the weight of hopelessness, despair = depression.
    Solution: admit that many things are out of our control, and focus on what we can do, even if by tiny steps -- One Day At A Time. Focusing on Love - that we are loved and lovable. Eat healthy foods (because junk, fast, processed foods contribute to depression).
    gretchen

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