From Recovery to Freedom

Some of you know and some do not know that I had a book published in 2018.  It was a testimonial book about my struggles with having schizophrenia.  I knew I was supposed to write a book but at the time I had only written my testimony out in 2012.   At that time, I had no clue about how to go about getting it published. I started blogging during that time as well.

I started out writing about a paragraph as my blog entries. I do not even remember the title of my blog at the time. my blog went through many transitions and titles as well as my writing took off. I had no clue that the postings I had wrote at that time would go into a book, but it did.

So did the vision for my book and with that vision I had thoughts that the ministry God had put in my heart would take off. I thought that would be my open door for ministering to those in the church struggling with mental issues.  

Sadly, that vision never took shape in that fashion overall. I do think that people were blessed by the book, and I still feel that book was an overlooked voice that stood out... but no one at the time took a stand with me in that area and how I believed and how God inspired me to write.

I worked on that book up until 2018 when I found a couple on Facebook that worked in helping me edit and putting my manuscript in book form.

It turned out to be a beautifully bound project, but it did NOT catapult me into the ministry like I thought.

Since then, my writing has waned I am sad to say as well as my passion for writing. Rejection as yet is not my best forte. Who does do good with rejection? I tackled a very tough subject in today's church and that was only just about mental illness.

I have even undergone another divorce in 2019 and even was inpatient again in 2021 for severe depression...Thankfully no voices or hallucinations but just as severe none the less.

I know my writing needs to take another turn and this is it.  My story is not over and will more than likely there will be no more books in the works for me. I just cannot handle that type of rejection, you know I thought I could handle it. but who can.

My love and passion for writing is still here.  I know it has gone stagnant.

There is no happy ending or a great turn around or ministry...Here I am still struggling but God knows and sees my heart, and that is more important than anything else that can happen for me.

I know and love God so much I have come so far and the testimony of His unending grace is still going strong!

What I am here to tell others is to not let go of your dreams, no matter what. Tell you story and let your voice be heard...no matter what. Do not let your vision die, you still go and bear much fruit. So, God has not brought about your dreams in the way you thought that they would does not mean what you have gone through is not in vain...For He sees and knows all.  The greatest thing you can do is let your heart be seen in your life...For me it was in the writing of that book.

It may not be a best seller but it still holds weight in God's sight. Give God the glory and let Him lead you in Spirit and in truth. He is not finished with me yet!!!