Spiritual Depression

I believe that these writings are prompted by the Holy Spirit and to what He desires to say through my writing...So here goes what I feel like GOD wants to say through me.

Here within the last couple of months I have had some concerns with my physical health. I recently had a sleep study and they want me to come back for another one. I will have to sleep under a CPAP Machine and possibly be put on Oxygen. On top of all that I had a MRI Last Thursday. It seems my prostate levels were and have been on the high side the last several years. SO Please keep me in your prayers.   

It was really heavy on me this Sunday. I almost opted out on going to church but did not cave into it... but when I got home I found I was stuck in depression and self pity much of the afternoon and night. I have a doctors appointment this morning at 9:45 to go over the results of my MRI. I have been under a severe attack by the enemy playing mind games with me with not knowing if i have cancer or not. That Sunday night God by His grace was able to snap me out of a big pity party thinking I had a death sentence on me.

As some of you all know I have dwelt with mental issues for a very long time, My symptoms has drastically changed over the years since 2002... At one point I lived a very paranoid life hearing voices and having strong delusions.

Nowadays I deal mostly with severe depression. I have come to some conclusions.  Even though I am currently on prozac and abilify I am still experiencing depression at some points. I believe it is a spirit of depression. I am not about to come off my medicine. I did that last year and wound up in the mental hospital. I do believe that medicine is of GOD and that it has helped me tremendously...but medicine is not a cure. I do believe there is a spiritual side to all that I have been through. The devil wants me to not care and throw in the spiritual towel and surrender to his attacks on my health.  I believe that demonic forces are all talk, what I mean to say is that there bark is worse than their bite. Jesus holds my life in his hands and I know that HE is not finished with my life and purpose on this earth. Satans imps only can play mischief with our minds but ultimately He cannot touch our Spirits. Have you ever looked up the definitions of words to refresh the meanings. I believe we need to look closer at the word, "mischief."

The meaning I found online was a trouble maker. In other words someone who strives to cause harm playing around with our mental state.  If we allow the enemy to play he will most certainly play his little games.

 Saying all this for some of you may not agree. It is always okay to agree to disagree. This is only my blog so I am going to go by what I believe God is telling me.